I am a Pushover?! * warning full fledged ranting*
So today I am going in to work early… to do something I should have done a while ago. I have to stand up for myself. I should not feel like I DON’T HAVE THE TIME TO PEE… let alone help a customer. When I worked in the front end I had a set list of things to do and it was expected I would hop to and get them done. HOWEVER if it got massively busy and I needed to bag for a hour straight or if a customer asked for my help or what have you and I was unable to complete those tasks I KNEW SOME ONE ELSE WOULD AND no one would get angry with me for providing customer service INSTEAD of hell… I dunno cleaning the damn dish washer. But this is no longer the case back in the bakery. I used to LOVE working back here… the whole department was so customer service driven… which is WHAT I AM GOOD AT AND ENJOY! But lately I relish the chance to work in the front because honestly it is a bazillion times more rewarding to clean out THE NASTY egg case then work in the bakery and feel so stressed every time I turn around or go in the back I have curb an anxiety attack and force myself not to cry. At least when I cleaned the egg case I could interact with customers, offer to help them, make conversation and all that with out feeling like I was going to get yelled at or fired or scolded for not doing my job. My absolute favorite things to do in the bakery are the customer service jobs- helping some one fill out a cake order, getting some one something out of the cake case, helping a customer find there favorite bread, and offering a customer hot fresh from the oven french bread and watching their face light up. However when I get left 7 to 10 racks full of product to package and it is my goal for the day NOT to breakdown and cry… I honestly don’t get to do those things the right way nor do I get to enjoy them. The company I work for is based on customer service… my current boss pulled me from up front for my customer service skills. I feel that it is more important that a customer feels valued and served and got what they needed in a friendly and positive manner then that every single cookie or bread that was left for me is out and perfectly tagged and packaged…. If the customers aren’t happy with our service and don’t come back THE PRODUCTS WILL NOT SELL! and when I am the only person in the bakery its like I being pressured to be a machine and be a good sales employee. I cant do this any more… I have to say something. It has been easier to just smile and be a pushover for a few weeks but after a week of going I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO WORK it makes me feel like I am worthless because I am trying to be everything for everyone and I CAN NOT… I must step up and grow a spine… Wish me luck…
- 10 months ago
- 2
I Need to Learn this!
I want to preface this with I didnt write this… I wish I had. I need to learn this life lesson. I began to learn it when I met Benjamin becuase he came when I least expected it and is what I least expected and when the program I had intended to study got cut and it turned out that I need to go to a four year university to get certified as an interpreter. However I still try to control everything and everyone… when I need to remember to enjoy things more and let it happen however it is supposed to… even if that isn’t how I planned it.
It’s not going to turn out the way you thought. It will happen later. His best friend will ask you out instead. You’ll be kissed in the movies instead of on a beach. You’ll end up going to a different school because the one you thought you’d get into didn’t work out.
She’ll move away. Someone else will move in next door. She’ll be a little weird at first, a little more shy, but ultimately really good at riding bikes and playing dolls.
That part you always wanted will go to that other girl instead. And you’ll rock it out in the chorus like your life depended on it. Because on some level it does.
The road you were going to take will be flooded and closed. The inn where you were going to stay will be under renovations. He’ll be taller than you thought. And have a funny accent. But will be a good kisser nonetheless.
You’ll get a flat tire on the way to that crucial meeting and end up peeing your pants laughing with the gas station attendant over a copy of Us Magazine. And someone else will fill in for you because they always do.
You won’t get that dream job like you thought you would. It will go to someone else with far less creative drive and vision than you. Someone far better suited for a cubicle than you.
You’ll be put in groups with people who put your panties in a wrinkle. You’ll sit next to someone on the plane who you’d never talk to except that they won’t shut up…and you’ll end up staying in touch for years and taking family vacations together.
Five years after you graduate life won’t look anything like you would have imagined. You’ll be single when you thought you’d be married. You’ll have kids when you thought you’d be in the Peace Corps. That trip to Laos will get delayed because you’ve got to stay home and take care of your grandmother. Laos will be there. You’re grandmother won’t always.
He’ll move over seas and oddly the Atlantic Ocean between you will bring you closer than you ever dreamed possible. You won’t get engaged, married, or pregnant when you thought. You’ll miss the bus/train/plane/ferry that you thought you just HAD to be on.
You’ll fall off the turnip truck. You’ll jump on a different bandwagon than you intended. You’ll get fired when you thought you ought to be getting hired.
You’ll realize you forgot the outfit you had planned to wear and that the shoes are all wrong now that you have a full-length mirror to see the whole outfit. Your shirt will be wrinkled and you’ll spill red wine on your white jeans.
Your dog will eat your five-year plan. You’ll drop your Blackberry in the toilet (at least once.) Your computer will crash and you’ll delete the first draft of your magnum opus. You’ll accidentally delete your hard drive and end up with a clean slate.
You’ll show up late to the date with the guy you were sure was going to fit into your husband suit and realize he’s less than graceful under stress and not so flexible. (Better to know now than later.)
When you thought you’d be baking pie and living behind your very own white picket fence you’ll find yourself doing something so entirely different you couldn’t have even imagined it a year before. There will be moments when you’ll look around and not even recognize your own life…in a good way.
You’ll take a wrong turn and end up in an entirely different city than you intended. You’ll dial the wrong number and end up in love with an entirely different person than you intended.
You’ll flunk out and end up taking five years instead of four to graduate. You’ll have your heart broken when you were sure you were with the one and then meet the other one a month later. You’ll move to a new city to start a new business with those perfect new business partners and then it will all go to shit. And you’ll move across the country again only to realize that that’s where you belonged the whole time.
You’ll drive as far away from home as possible thinking that it will make you feel free. Then you’ll get homesick and drive back four months later because you suddenly feel trapped.
You’ll imagine the open road, country music playing loud, you signing at the top of your lungs, and flirting with a new man in every town. And then you’ll invite someone to come with you on a whim and realize driving around the country by yourself was a terrible idea anyway…and that its way more fun when you’re traveling with someone you love.
You won’t do it at the right time.
You’ll be late.
You’ll be early.
You’ll get re-routed.
You’ll get delayed.
You’ll change your mind.
You’ll change your heart.
It’s not going to turn out the way you thought it would.
It will be better
- 10 months ago
Inscurity leads to doubts
So maybe I am less confident than I think… just maybe I am terrified you will realize that I am so far from perfect and I just loose track of reality when you aren’t around. But I am sorry that because of this I doubted you. The truth is I thought you were leaving me because I don’t think that I am good enough for you. You are so good to me, all I could ever want or need. even when I end up freaking out and worrying like crazy you still love me. You are the only person who is able to remind me of what matters ( I love you and I want this to last) and show me how to focus on what is in my control not what I cant change. Its incredible everyday… I cant imagine what you see in me. I am sorry that I am insecure and worry that when you get to college you are going to see that I am not as wonderful as you think…. I Just don’t want to lose you… I am afraid because I love you. When I have things to apologize for you bring me my favorite flowers… your perfect Benjamin!
- 10 months ago
- 2
Gesundheit! Bless you!
Bless you is a phrase we all use on regular basis, in fact I bet you have said this to a complete stranger in the last week. Even in our religious-a -phobic culture “Bless you” is complete intertwined into the everyday. However very few people every question why we respond to some one sneezing with “bless you”. This odd cultural behavior originates way back in the times of the black plague. You see then final stage of the black plague was sneezing fits so when the black plague descended on England it became common place to say may god bless you when someone began to sneeze because it meant that they would be dead soon. This is my one bit of trivia… some people collect random facts as a hobby but I feel like I don’t really have to room in my brain for a ton of facts so I just have this one. When I was little I got the book ” Do Fish Drink Water?” as gift and basically it was this big book full of answers to all the questions children ask that no one really knows the answer to. It was a fitting gift because I was a curious and questioning little girl. Well a few years ago I re-gifted the book to the family I babysit for but the one thing I will always remember from the book that helped answer many of my silly questions as a kid, is the origins of “bless you”.
- 1 year ago
Logo for my marketing team… :) I didn’t choose our team name but I am our go to art person now!
- 1 year ago
I have been passed the family rainstorms
Above is my favorite photo I have taken of our Seattle rain! I have finally decided on a name for my future photography business- Chased By the Rain Storms. Now that sounds depressing but I promise it is a sweet and happy story which has great personal meaning for me. I have my great uncle Denny’s eyes… and that is my only feature that “runs in the family”. Our eyes are this deep bright blue grey and the best way to describe it is like the ocean during a storm. All his life uncle Denny has been the dreamer and business man in our family, he has so much drive and passion for all he does in life. Well now he is retired and he is losing that fire but its about time he slowed down! Well the last time I saw my great uncle he told me that he was passing the storms to me and he could see I had in me what he has in him by my eyes. He said it was my turn to be chased by the rainstorms but that he knew I would make my dreams a reality because of them. And so I decided it would be fitting to name my business after this.
- 1 year ago
